Healing in the In-Between Moments

My copy of Jeff Goins's new book arrived this past week, and I finally started on it. The idea of those in-between moments inspired my own memories of the little times in life that make up, well, life. 20130810-123912.jpg

It was just a few hours after the funeral. The grandfather of my best friend, Jessica, had passed away suddenly on my nineteenth birthday.

The house was full of people, visiting, reconnecting, dealing with the grief in their own way.

Jess and I went outside to the driveway in the quiet small town neighborhood. Teenagers, we climbed onto the trunk of her grandparents' aging Chevy Impala and leaned against the back windshield. We stared at the white clouds outlined by blue sky. We didn't say anything. Didn't need to. Just spent time in quiet communication, understanding the lack of need for chatter to fill the air.

The screen door banged and voices bubbled out. Jess's brother and two friends tromped across the drive. His girlfriend paused.

"What are y'all doing?"

I wasn't quite sure how to answer. My friend and I mumbled in agreement. "Um, just relaxing."

"Oh. Well, we're bored. Going to wash my car. Y'all want to come?"

"Uh, that's okay. Thanks."

She shrugged and the three climbed into her Volkswagen Bug, still laughing and chattering.

Quietness reigned again between us. Then we broke out in a spontaneous giggle.

Then quiet again like before, watching the clouds and letting the moment heal our bruised hearts.

***

Jeff Goins's book is already having an impact on my life. You can order a copy on Amazon: The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing [A Spiritual Memoir]

Video: My NMAI Project

The story of my journey as a participant in the NMAI Artist Leadership Program 2012-2013. Video produced by my talented mama, Lynda Kay Sawyer of RockHaven Productions:  

Are You Happy?

Long drives are golden when it comes to thinking time. On the way home from a short trip to Oklahoma, while my mom leaned back for a nap, I spent a few hours in the driver’s seat, thinking about the journey of my life so far.

Oklahoma

Oklahoma

Events from eleven months ago had me spinning in more directions then I could see. My dad’s passing. Acceptance into the Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indian Artist Leadership Program. All within two days of each other.

Where had I been? Where was I going? Where was I now?

Are you happy?

The question caught me off guard. I debated it a moment, thinking I would have a quick answer. I didn’t. Instead, more questions came.

What is happiness? What I am pursing? What is the purpose in all this?

Since childhood, my desire has been to honor and glorify God. But does that make you happy? My mind attacked the very definition of happiness.

How does the world define it? How does God define it? How do I define it?

Few people in the world are happy by any definition. They wish they were married. They wish they were single. They wish they had their dream job. They wish they could go back to their old one.

Are you happy?

Am I? As the Oklahoma road wound up another climb, I asked myself the question over and over. How should I define happiness? Giggles in my stomach all the time? Unfettered laughter bubbling constantly from my lips? No more tears?

No. It’s something deeper than that. Something no trial or sadness in the world can touch when it swoops in to steal your joy.

It’s satisfaction. It’s knowing that in comparison to the thousands of years the human race has existed, yours is just a flash in time. It’s here and gone with a few rotations of the earth. It’s knowing in that time, you are living for the one thing that last, the one thing no amount of time or grief can crush.

Almighty God.

When I focus on Him, not my own desires or happiness, is where true satisfaction resides.

Well you may ask me if I'm happy

If I have sweet peace within

If I'm worried about tomorrow

When I reach my journey's end

When he was a young man, my daddy envisioned himself as the next Billy Sunday. In the last few years of his life, he sang at a small church. Nursing homes. The county jail. In those last few years, he said he felt he was doing what God wanted him to do. I believe he was satisfied.

And as I face the coming one year anniversary of when my world spun out of control, I know I am satisfied. I am happy.

When my eyes are closed in death

With my Jesus I'll be at rest

Then you'll know I'm satisfied

Are you happy?

Elizabeth Sherrill Master’s Writing Workshop—Tuesday

Authors of such Christian classics as The Hiding Place (Corrie Ten Boom), Cross and the Switchblade (David Wilkerson), and God's Smuggler (Bro. Andrew), Elizabeth and John Sherrill have ghostwritten, co-authored and edited more books and articles than I can grasp. They were editors and contributors of the Guideposts Magazine back in the day when people thought it was a travel magazine, if they’d heard of it all. The Sherrills traveled coast-to-coast, up to Alaska and around the world, writing over two thousand stories of real people and the great work God had performed in their lives. In April 2012, I had the privilege of attending Elizabeth Sherrill’s Master’s Writers Workshop. The week I spent at YWAM (Youth with a Mission) Woodcrest was so huge it’s hard to approach in a mere blog post. So I’m going to make it a six part series, taking it one day at a time with the hope I can be as interesting my witty teachers.

Tuesday—Meetings and…Meetings

The whirlwind continued on Day Two. I couldn’t take notes fast enough, laugh hard enough, and thank God enough times for letting me sit and learn under master storytellers.

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The joy and excitement bubbled over that evening when I hosted my group, Christian Writers Gathering. Yes, my mom picked me up from the Woodcrest facilities and drove home that evening for a quick shower and prep for the Gathering. I left the campus in such a tizzy I forgot to grab my makeup bag and hairbrush. Ah well. There are more important things in life.

April’s Gathering was special in that we celebrated our one year anniversary as a group with renting the historic Blackwell House and enjoying refreshments. I couldn’t stop myself from sharing story after story I’d heard in just two days, and I included Elizabeth Sherrill’s Seven Steps to Publication, and her manuscript evaluation formula.

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Somewhere around eleven that night, I made it back to my dorm room. I settled in for another attempt at sleep, still pinching myself.

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Next post I share a confirmation for my mission in writing. And also a picture of “Lake” YWAM.

Are you part of a writing group or book club? What do you share at it?

 

Elizabeth Sherrill Master’s Writing Workshop—Monday

Authors of such Christian classics as The Hiding Place (Corrie Ten Boom), Cross and the Switchblade (David Wilkerson), and God's Smuggler (Bro. Andrew), Elizabeth and John Sherrill have ghostwritten, co-authored and edited more books and articles than I can grasp. They were editors and contributors of the Guideposts Magazine back in the day when people thought it was a travel magazine, if they’d heard of it all. The Sherrills traveled coast-to-coast, up to Alaska and around the world, writing over two thousand stories of real people and the great work God had performed in their lives. In April 2012, I had the privilege of attending Elizabeth Sherrill’s Master’s Writers Workshop. The week I spent at YWAM (Youth with a Mission) Woodcrest was so huge it’s hard to approach in a mere blog post. So I’m going to make it a six part series, taking it one day at a time with the hope I can be as interesting my witty teachers.

Monday—A Day with God’s Greats

I didn’t sleep much Sunday night. Much of the night was spent watching for the dawn, waiting for my alarm to go off. I was up getting dressed before it had the chance.

No one else at the dorms did much breakfast, so it was just me most mornings. I didn’t mind. It was good quiet time and a peaceful view.

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I was the first in the classroom, straightening things and asking Joyce what she needed done. I folded name table tents and tried to meet people as they came in. I knew some.

I saw Elizabeth and John Sherrill when they arrived but was too busy lining out last minute arrangements to introduce myself. That was okay. I sat across from Ms. Elizabeth the whole week.

Masters Writing Workshop

Phyllis, sister of Janice Cunningham Rogers and Loren Cunningham, led our first devotion of the week, regaling us with stories of their humble beginnings including the time she and her husband were down to their last set of wheels. It had carpet on the dashboard and they had to tie the muffler up.

“God took care of our pride real quick.”

Loren Cunningham and his sisters Janice and Phyllis

Then Elizabeth Sherrill prepared to take charge. She didn’t care for the table set up, putting her at the head. She moved to the side, and we rearranged the other end so that everyone faced each other as much as possible. She called it the “editorial board.” All the writers were on it. She partnered us with the person on our left, to serve as their “editor,” the one who would start the evaluation of the manuscript.

Ms. Elizabeth passed the mic around for us to introduce ourselves, talk about our writing and what our ultimate goal was. I’d established mine some time back:

To meet someone in heaven who says, “I’m here because of the stories you wrote.”

I know Elizabeth Sherrill will have that. There were people in that room who had were saved and dedicated their life to ministry after reading one of the Sherrill’s books.

Right off that first day, my story came around for critique, to be used as a teaching tool, good or bad. I wasn’t nervous. Much. Just thought about stepping out of the room for the whole time…

Really, it wasn’t so bad. The main thing that came out was my lack of enthusiasm for research. Then I got to talk about my novel (Update: I finished the first draft in February, 2013). Everyone liked the premise, giving me another spur in the side to get it done.

That first day, I felt comfortable with everyone, with my place at the table. We were writers, trying to figure it all out and knowing we wouldn’t before our lives ended. But this was the opportunity to learn from some of the greatest Christian writers of our time.

Around noon that day, we had a special visitor, Loren Cunningham, founder of YWAM and the one credited with Is That Really You, God?: Hearing the Voice of God. The Sherrills worked on that book with his sister, Janice, who co-wrote with him.

I sat stunned at the stories that poured out of him, the laughter, and the connection between old friends. For only the second time ever, four special people were together in one place—the Sherrills, Loren Cunningham, and Janice Rogers.

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After an hour and telling about the thousands of militants coming out of the jungle after YWAMers ministered to them, Mr. Cunningham leaned forward. “I said all that to say this—we need more Christian writers!”

I’ll never forget those words.

Masters Writing Workshop

The day was far from over as we all packed up after dinner and headed to one of my mentor’s home, the one God used to get me in that week, Sandi and Scott Tompkins. There, we stuffed with desserts and sat around for an open questions time with the pros.

How do I describe such a mind-blowing experience of the stories that poured out, the theories about Christian media, trans media, filmmaking, writing, and culture today in America? Why didn’t I have a recorder?

See me on the floor? I was literally sitting at their feet to learn...

The evening ended way too soon.

In the next post are details of how the workshop proceeded.

Special thanks to Scott Tompkins for most of these photos!

What’s your ultimate goal with the life God has given you? Do you realize you are one of God’s great?